Let me tell you something about fashion.
It's a damn lie!
Fashion is not the same as Style, which is the statement you choose to make to the world through your appearance. Fashion is a prescribed costume dictated to you by others.
While it's true we're expected to dress a certain way for the job and all, the idea that no one will approve of us if we're wearing last year's jacket is just crap. And the idea that we won't get approval unless we spend the big bucks dressing our bodies is even more pernicious. Ubiquitous. Obnoxious!
That's why I present to you Nacho Mama's Rebel Guide To Dressing Well and Showing Your Middle Finger to Fashion Designers Who Hate Real Women Anyway.
1. Never buy anything new, ever again.
2. Constuct exciting designs out of old sheets and scraps, and call it avant-garde.
3. Adopt the "Grunge-Chic" aesthetic so popular in Seattle. Once people determine you're not homeless, they'll adore your unique point of view.
* * * * * * *
Right. Whatever.
Let me say it again: FASHION IS A LIE. "RETAIL THERAPY" IS A LIE. EVERY ADVERTISEMENT YOU'VE EVER SEEN IS A LIE.
"But," you say, "You already told us you look fabulous and expensive. How can you have it both ways? Are you just full of baloney?"
"No," I would answer. "I'm vegetarian. But that's the subject of a different show. And don't sass me. Even though I'm Nacho Mama, I'm still somebody's mama."
Here's the thing with fashion: Figure out Your Style - how You want to look - and then choose clothing that is classic and well-constructed that you don't have to buy over and over. Once you've done that, get up close and personal with the consignment and thrift shops in your area.
If you think wearing pre-owned clothes is icky, give me a break. Do you bring your own sheets and bedding when you sleep in a hotel? I didn't think so. Shut up.
Shopping for used clothing is a little like a treasure hunt. Sometimes you don't find what you were looking for; sometimes you find so much great stuff it seems like your own personal Christmas. The key is being flexible.
If you're a beginner, start with consignment stores. Consignment shopping is an easy, fun way to ease into the world of thrifting. Generally speaking, consignment stores are pickier about the pieces they accept, and their stuff is usually in excelllent, ready-to-wear condition. Some of my favorite bargains -- several BCBG items, including a coat, pants, and a couple of fancy-shmancy dresses - were all found in a local consignment shop. I always like to make friends with the store manager. After you establish yourself as a regular, and she gets to know your size and taste, there's a fair-to-middling chance she'll call you when they have something to interest you. Just ask!
Consignment shopping is also a double win - because you can sell your stuff! That dress you haven't worn in 20 pounds? Consignment! That impulse purchase that you suddenly realize would look tacky on a 2 dollar hooker but can't return? Consignment! The ugly sweater that was last year's Christmas gift? Convert them all to money through the magic of consignment!
Most stores will look over your items by appointment only, but there are some that will make you a cash offer on the spot. Plato's Closet is one. Shop around for others. Ask questions. Do research!
Because you're on your way to being a savvy, well-dressed bitch! Not the fashion industry's ho!
How do I know? Because I'm somebody's mama! Just...
Nacho Mama : )
"Style is not a logo that sticks 2 the roof of one's ass-
Style is like a second cousin 2 class." - Prince
It's a damn lie!
Fashion is not the same as Style, which is the statement you choose to make to the world through your appearance. Fashion is a prescribed costume dictated to you by others.
While it's true we're expected to dress a certain way for the job and all, the idea that no one will approve of us if we're wearing last year's jacket is just crap. And the idea that we won't get approval unless we spend the big bucks dressing our bodies is even more pernicious. Ubiquitous. Obnoxious!
That's why I present to you Nacho Mama's Rebel Guide To Dressing Well and Showing Your Middle Finger to Fashion Designers Who Hate Real Women Anyway.
1. Never buy anything new, ever again.
2. Constuct exciting designs out of old sheets and scraps, and call it avant-garde.
3. Adopt the "Grunge-Chic" aesthetic so popular in Seattle. Once people determine you're not homeless, they'll adore your unique point of view.
* * * * * * *
Right. Whatever.
Let me say it again: FASHION IS A LIE. "RETAIL THERAPY" IS A LIE. EVERY ADVERTISEMENT YOU'VE EVER SEEN IS A LIE.
"But," you say, "You already told us you look fabulous and expensive. How can you have it both ways? Are you just full of baloney?"
"No," I would answer. "I'm vegetarian. But that's the subject of a different show. And don't sass me. Even though I'm Nacho Mama, I'm still somebody's mama."
Here's the thing with fashion: Figure out Your Style - how You want to look - and then choose clothing that is classic and well-constructed that you don't have to buy over and over. Once you've done that, get up close and personal with the consignment and thrift shops in your area.
If you think wearing pre-owned clothes is icky, give me a break. Do you bring your own sheets and bedding when you sleep in a hotel? I didn't think so. Shut up.
Shopping for used clothing is a little like a treasure hunt. Sometimes you don't find what you were looking for; sometimes you find so much great stuff it seems like your own personal Christmas. The key is being flexible.
If you're a beginner, start with consignment stores. Consignment shopping is an easy, fun way to ease into the world of thrifting. Generally speaking, consignment stores are pickier about the pieces they accept, and their stuff is usually in excelllent, ready-to-wear condition. Some of my favorite bargains -- several BCBG items, including a coat, pants, and a couple of fancy-shmancy dresses - were all found in a local consignment shop. I always like to make friends with the store manager. After you establish yourself as a regular, and she gets to know your size and taste, there's a fair-to-middling chance she'll call you when they have something to interest you. Just ask!
Consignment shopping is also a double win - because you can sell your stuff! That dress you haven't worn in 20 pounds? Consignment! That impulse purchase that you suddenly realize would look tacky on a 2 dollar hooker but can't return? Consignment! The ugly sweater that was last year's Christmas gift? Convert them all to money through the magic of consignment!
Most stores will look over your items by appointment only, but there are some that will make you a cash offer on the spot. Plato's Closet is one. Shop around for others. Ask questions. Do research!
Because you're on your way to being a savvy, well-dressed bitch! Not the fashion industry's ho!
How do I know? Because I'm somebody's mama! Just...
Nacho Mama : )
"Style is not a logo that sticks 2 the roof of one's ass-
Style is like a second cousin 2 class." - Prince
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